Jace Beleren, the planeswalking phenomenon who rose to multiverse fame by becoming the Ravnican living Guildpact, announced Friday that he’ll seek the nomination for United States president.
“Americans are looking for a true leader,” Beleren told an excited crowd at his announcement party. “I’m for knowledge and stifling those that threaten our safety. I’m for transferring power from Washington into the hands of hard working, blue collar tax payers. I have shown I can be a living Guildpact. Now I need your help to become the living Constitution.”
About 5,000 attendees had RSVP’d to attend his Friday afternoon event. The announcement was a remarkable political milestone for the planeswalker, who vaulted from the obscurity of Vryn.
Other established candidates wasted no time attacking the newest contestant in the U.S. presidential race. The always outspoken Republican front runner Donald Trump verbally assaulted Beleren. “The guy is a buffoon. and his foreign policy in Zendikar stinks. Instead of destroying the Eldrazi, he should had built a gigantic wall, the most beautiful and magnificent wall you will ever see. I would had even made the Eldrazi pay for it!”
Beleren countered Trump’s claims.
Democratic hopeful Bernie Sanders even weighed in on Beleren’s candidacy. “He is a blue planeswalker for crying out loud! Just look at some of the blue spells he can cast; Propaganda, Bribery, and Desertion. All he supports is political gridlock and stagnation! His record shows he even has the worst attendance of anyone in the Azorius Senate!”
Beleren responded to Sanders, “What he says about my Senate attendance is true although I have been a little busy lately with saving Zendikar and investigating on Innistrad.”
Beleren has yet to state which political party he will represent in the campaign despite already receiving endorsements from actor Steve Burns, musical act Blue Man Group and Fblthp, Ravnican familiar.
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